New Year Wish

Thursday, March 31, 2011

7 years

Today it has been 7 years since my dad passed away...

It has been 84 months.

It has been 365 weeks

It has been 2555 days

...since we watched my dad take his final breath.  He was diagnosed with small-cell lung cancer and 6 weeks later he was gone.  That final night he was surrounded by all of his family.  We all got to say our good-bye.  For one brief moment he opened his eyes and squeezed our hands and looked at us.  We all huddled around with tears in our eyes and said our final "I love you" as he slipped back into his morphine-induced sleep.  He was kept comfortable so he was not in pain.  We sat there watching his numbers dip lower and lower in silence.  We prayed and watched and hoped he was not in pain anymore.

All I could do was watch the clock and wonder what time it would happen and what was sister who was pregnant with her second baby, my brother who was engaged to be married, and me on the brink of my college graduation.  He would miss it all.  My mom.  My mom who was watching the man she loved for so many years slowly slipping away.  My grandma who had to lose another one of her children and my aunts and uncles who were losing their brother.  My brother-in-law who had just lost his sister to the same disease.  My sweet little nephew who lost his grandpa and my unborn niece who would never know this man. 

It happened then...about 12:01 am.  He was gone.  We knew he wasn't suffering and in pain.  He was somewhere better and reunited with family and friends.  I remember feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders.  He wasn't in pain...he wasn't in pain...he wasn't in pain.  I remember walking out of the room because we heard my aunt and uncle outside of the room (they had just arrived) and my sister and I had to tell them.  I went back into the room but had to leave because I couldn't handle seeing my dad's body.  It is an image to this day that I cannot get out of my head.  My mom and brother holding his hand.  It was just too much for me.

I wanted to remember my dad as the man he was when he was alive.  He was a dedicated hard worker who was so proud of his family.  He traveled to the other side of the world for a job when he could not find work in the U.S.  He was a proud Marine and Vietnam veteran.  A loving husband and father and oh my goodness...the best grandpa out there.

  My nephew and my dad were best friends.  He could do no wrong in grandpa's eyes.  My dad would sneak him Twizzlers and pop because he was grandpa.  They were so fun to watch.  I can only imagine how my dad would act now with 7 grandchildren.  He and my nephew would probably talk about history, war, and his Marine "stash".  All my nieces would have the best audience for when they like to perform songs and dance.  He would play baseball, basketball, football, etc with Brendan or laugh as he ran circles around the house.  My sweet little nephew (who is named after my dad) would have a playmate for life and my daughter would have grandpa wrapped around her finger...along with his other six.

I had this conversation with my son yesterday on the way to preschool.
Me: "Brendan tomorrow will be 7 years that Grandpa Paul went to heaven.  That makes mommy sad because she misses him."

Brendan: "Oh mommy.  When I get to heaven will I get to meet him?"

When we get to heaven I know he will be the first one waiting for us.  I know he watches over us and he is healthy and with his family and friends.  I'm thankful to have had 23 years with him as my dad and tomorrow my sister, brother, and mom will all call and text just to say we love each other and we can't believe it has been 7 years. 

 I woke up this morning and tried to remember all the details from that day.  After we left the hospital my sister and I were in some type of surreal disbelief.  It is really over.  One of those defining life moments that you will always remember but wonder how you got there so fast.  My mom and I had a lot of family staying with us and they took care of all the details.  It is a blur to me now.  It was like I woke up at 10am that morning and the next thing we were sitting in the cemetery watching his casket be lowered into the ground.

My dad has had the most glorious 7 years in heaven.  We just imagine all the family and friends he has been spending his time with catching up and doing what he loves most.  My dad wants us to enjoy life and spend time together. We miss you and know we will see you again.

Love you dad.

(I do have pictures I want to add but my scanner is not working.  Will post those soon)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Blossoms for Babies...a March of Dimes Fundraiser

Team Superbaby is hosting a "Blossoms for Babies" fundraiser now through the month of April.  A portion of every blossom bought will be donated to our March for Babies walk!  This is a great way to get a sweet blossom for someone special and help save babies at the same time.

Spring is here and Summer is right around the corner.  Check out some of my new polka dot clippies and ribbon blossoms.

Instead of loads of candy in the Easter basket...add a clippie or two!  You could even hide them in an egg for the Easter egg hunt.

Button Blossoms will even custom a flower clip/pin/headband for you. 

Flowers aren't just for little girls anymore!  They are my new favorite accessory for the Spring.  Add a super soft elastic headband and you have such a cute look.  Hair up or down.

A great way to dress up a gift...add a flower or clippie!

All of my blossoms are hand sewn onto a ribbon covered alligator clip and have a button or gem center embellishment.

All clippies and blossoms range from $1.00-$6.00 and add an elastic headband for $1 (any size newborn-adult) or crocheted headband for $2.00 (lots of available colors)

You can email at or find me on Facebook for ordering information or just leave a comment and I will email you back.  Just search Button Blossoms and add me as a friend.  If you are overwhelmed by choices please email me what you are looking and I will custom your order.

Thank you from Team Superbaby!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Custom clip holder: Sparkle letter H

This sweet clip holder was made for my adorable niece.  She loved it and I was so happy!  You can never go wrong with pink and sparkles.

Monday, March 21, 2011

March for Babies Monday; Miracle joke!

Brendan the night he was born at 30 weeks 2 days gestation

The FDA recently approved the use of progesterone treatments for preventing preterm birth for women who have had a. a previous spontaneous preterm birth with one baby and b. currently pregnant with one baby.  Please read these links through the March of Dimes website on more information about these miracle shots.
March of Dime: Progesterone
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) Committee Opinion #419:
New research about progesterone

I remember the night after our son was born, my doctor came up to visit us in the NICU on her way home from work.  She was amazed at how stable he was because of being so early.  She said you sometimes cannot tell when a woman will go into preterm labor.  There were no risk factors for me.  I had just been to the doctor two days prior to his birth.  She then went on to tell us a little how my next pregnancy would look (like I could imagine having another after my son was just born 10 weeks early!) and being labeled as high risk.  She mentioned a shot that was given once a week for an extended period of time and it had amazing statistics at keeping women pregnant longer.  That was the last time I really thought about that for the next couple of years.  We were unsure if we would have anymore because of the greater chance I would deliver so early again and the stress of having another baby in the NICU.  All our time was put into Brendan and keeping him healthy.
Brendan is 3!

Fast forward to fall of 2008,  Brendan was nearing his third birthday (January) and  was very independent.  We decided it was time to think about having another and got all the information from my doctor about what my pregnancy would look like for the coming nine (hopefully!) months.  This was my list:
  • doctor visits biweekly beginning at 12 weeks
  • cervical exams biweekly beginning at 12 weeks
  • cervical length ultrasounds at 13, 20, 26 weeks
  • progesterone shots weekly beginning at 17 weeks-35weeks
  • no working at 19-20 weeks
  • modified bed rest beginning at 24-26 weeks-35-36weeks
  • no heavy lifting/carrying over 5lbs
  • no housework after bed rest began
This list was pretty overwhelming and I kept laughing thinking of what my husband would say when I gave him my rules.  We took some time to think about it and in May 2009 our journey began when my test read: pregnant!  It started stressful when I had early bleeding and was then labeled "threatened miscarriage." Two ultrasounds later showed a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks and another at 9 weeks confirmed a thriving healthy baby.
Round #2: May 11, 2009

Surprising Daddy...I'm going to be a big brother!

 About 7 weeks later at 16 weeks,  I received a call from the nurse at the office to talk to me about the "miracle shots" I had been hearing about and would begin the following week. I had to pick them up from a certain pharmacy, each jar lasted 4 treatments (weeks), they would hurt, they would be given in my derriere on alternating sides each week, they would hurt, they were amazing, and they would hurt, and would cost $50 per jar.  She really told me that it would hurt all those times.  She said I would have a hard and lumpy backside but my baby would stay put.

My journey of "butt shots" commenced and my nurse became such a good friend as did everyone else in the office.  We laughed, we cried, and we joked over the next 17 weeks of shots.  Each week they told me another story of a woman who had these shots and she is full term and another is overdue.  It was so uplifting to hear and each week I thought that my baby would be too because of these shots.  The first four weeks were a breeze to get with just a little soreness to sit.  Then it started to hurt.  Not a ton.  Just enough to wince while they gave you the shot and the next day or two sitting.  Now my bed rest was starting up and getting shots and then having just to sit was rough and this is when cold packs became my friends.  The baby was staying put so that it what mattered.  The last few shots were not so bad.  I was ecstatic to be so far into my pregnancy that a little shot was no big deal and my last shot was at 35 weeks and that night I thought I was going into labor...early...again.  I had contractions about an hour and then fell asleep.  I called the very next morning and talked with my nurse.  She assured me that 1. the contractions stopped, 2. I was able to sleep, and 3. I wasn't holding my baby so therefore I was not in labor.  At my next appointment I was checked and was 1 cm and 50% effaced...a change from last week's check and thank you miracle shots for working!  I stayed this way for the next 5 weeks and on my due date our sweet little Lila was born healthy and full-term!
Healthy and full-term Lila!  A miracle shot baby!
Jason had to wait 9 long months to meet his princess!
Blessed to wait 40 weeks for this snuggle!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Check me out here...

Today I did a guest blog over at The Domestic Wannabe.  Every Wednesday she does a "day in the life" series and it is a neat way to see how others spend a day.  Go check it out if you have a chance to see how we spend a random day.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The sale

So the mom2mom sale over the weekend went ok.  We woke up about 4:15am (not by choice! guess we were so excited we couldn't sleep) and talked till 5am (sister stayed the night at my house), got ready, had coffee and breakfast and were at the sale by 6:15 for setup at 6:30.  I say ok because it started a little too dramatic for 6:30am.  I'm glad my sister was with me to laugh the morning away.  The sale ran from 8am to 1pm and was pretty slow after 11:30am which gave me a chance to chat with some of the other sellers.  Here is what my set-up looked like:

After a long and busy day and about 3 hours of sleep:)

I was able to sell lots of ribbon clippies and blossoms and see lots of friends (which made it easier to make a sale) and I tried to make conversation with each person who stopped to see my work.  I received lots of compliments which made it all worthwhile and was asked if I was interested in doing another sale which is coming up soon.  It was most definitely a learning experience!

Monday, March 14, 2011

March for Babies Monday: Only a NICU mom

- knows the value of a day
- gets excited over an ounce of weight gain
- knows how good it feels to go from a high flow cannula to room air
- gets excited about increased feedings
- would beg her nurse to go to the NICU, not even 12 hours after a c-section
- would drive 1 hour one way to see her baby 4 days a week
- knows how much it sucks to be on magnesium
- knows exactly what time the doctors make their rounds each day
- gets excited when the doctor gives new orders
- knows how pink a baby can be after a blood transfusion
- knows how precious kangaroo care is
- will fight for Synagis and harass the crap out of the insurance companies
- knows how dangerous O2 desaturations are
- would get excited when the PICC line comes out
- would run to the lactation room to pump in record time, so she can get back to her baby
- understands how important it is to maintain body temperature
- would dread hearing the words "bradycardia" and "apnea" during a phone call
- knows the difference in a ventilator, CPAP, and a nasal cannula
- gets excited when the nurses tell you to bring in your car seat
- knows what all the alarms mean
- knows how important it is when babies graduate to different rooms
- would get excited over no residuals
- would pump every 3 hours for 8 weeks to feed a baby who needed it
- knows how exciting it is to hear the words "open crib"
- will Google "grams to pounds" to find out how much her baby weighs
- understands the importance of coming off of caffeine
- knows how hard it is to go back to work, so you can have time off once baby comes home
- is jealous of women who get to hold their baby within minutes of giving birth
- will carry Vaseline in her purse for her dry hands, that have been eaten up by using so much hand sanitizer
- knows where everything is located in the NICU
- knows how hard it is to be discharged and leave your baby behind

Only a NICU mom will look at her child every single day and thank God for such a wonderful miracle.

 I love this!  Found this on the blog of a fellow preemie mom.  We are walking in May in the annual March for Babies in Toledo if you would like to support our team, Team Superbaby.  Each donation helps save babies!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Sale is tomorrow!

I have worked on all the items on my checklist and am ready for the mom2mom sale!  I'll be back Sunday to give the report!  Happy weekend to all!

Monday, March 7, 2011

March for Babies Monday: How God Chooses Preemie Mothers

How God Chooses Preemie Mothers

Author Unknown

Did you ever wonder how mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint. . .give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods.

"If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.

She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says momma for the first time,

she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see, ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.

She will never be alone.

I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles.

A mirror will suffice.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Pretty blossom for a bow

I know I posted before about using a flower clip/pin for a bow on a gift and I had to show another picture of this idea.  My sweet niece just turned 5 (the babies of '06 are getting so big!) and she wanted me to make her a yellow flower to go with her new yellow shirt.  So yellow she got (plus a couple little extras!).

This is by far my favorite way to dress up a gift for any girly girl.  Gift wrap and bows are so expensive and just get thrown away.  For practically the same cost as ribbon and bows you can use a flower clip and it is a sweet little extra that they can wear for many years.  Email me at if you are interested in a blossom for a bow.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mom 2 Mom to do list

This week and next I am going to be busy working on lots of goodies for my first ever Mom 2 Mom sale.  I already have lots of large flower clips and headbands made and am now working on ribbon clippies, small flower clips, and printed flower clips.  I have an order coming in today with lots of polka dots!  Here is a little of my to do list:

Image: Wholesale girls
  • various color ribbon clippies (embellished and non-embellished)
  • polka dot and animal print flowers
  • mini flower clips
  • flower and clippie boards
  • ballerina flowers
Better get to work!  Here is the link if you are local and interested in more information about it.